Hanging out this morning before heading south back over Glen pass. The mosquitoes are out in force and as I write this I have 20 of them buzzing between my eyes and the paper I am writing on. It is an interesting exercise to be calm and simply let them buzz, but it is also hard not to start flailing your arms in mental frustration and chaos.
Two days ago was Scout and Frodo’s 30th wedding anniversary and they renewed their vows on top of Forester pass ( highest point on the PCT) Scout read his journal entry for day and I cried – tears of happiness for them and tears of sadness for Liz and I. Long term relationships are incredibly difficult (for me at least) and because I was so so so convinced that Liz and I would be together forever, I failed to invest enough on a daily basis. I accepted that things were “good enough – as good as they could be”. That is not to say that I did not work hard or try my best – I most certainly did. In fact I put more effort into this relationship than anything else in my entire life. But I see now that it wasn’t always the right effort and I needed more skills. It is an odd thing; If I do not know how to say, navigate, I learn how and I do that in all areas of interest to me; all areas I want to improve upon. But for some reason I felt I was skilled enough on the relationship front and sought little additional information, education, or skill development. Why is that? Those truly important things are often overlooked and dismissed.
Leave a Reply