Robert Francisco

Destination: Saddle north of Bobby Lake
Starting Location: Shelter Cove
Today’s Miles: 12.00
Trip Miles: 1925.30
Shelter Cove (1912.2, 5003) to Saddle north of Bobby Lake (1924.2, 6106) ascent (2438) descent (1168)

When Liz dropped me off at the railroad tracks where I had gotten off the trail one week ago today I was as lonely as I can ever recall. And when I hoisted my pack onto my back and my leg felt the full weight I began to cry. Not from pain, not from loneliness, but from gratitude for an opportunity to try & from fear of the unknown.
Decision time – 1.6 miles and I am limping. Turn back to Shelter Cove & call it a season or keep the needle pointed north. I stood on Willamette Pass at Highway 58 and thought long and hard. Short goals – 44 miles to Elk Lake Resort – you have 5 days of food, you are still on your feet boy, cross the f@#$%&g road.
Made it to Bobby Lake, mile 10, in about 6 hours. For a thru-hiker that pace was excruciatingly slow and the first hours were both mental & physical torture. Then a mantra: it is not go-BIG or go-home; it is go-slow or go-home. The forest at 1.5 miles an hour vs. 3.5 miles per hour is a very different place. You hear more, you see more, and you feel more.
My grandfather was Robert and they called him Pete, my father is Robert and they call him Bob, I am Robert and, like a boy named Sue, they called me Bobby or worse, little Bobby. Bobby Lake reminded me how I hated that name. Not even sure why exactly now but being a geeky kid was bad enough, I did not need a name to match. When I returned from the First Battalion 5th Marines, my name had been restored to its proper place – Robert. I like Robert.
I promised myself I would stop early regardless of how I felt. Liz wanted me to take more time off, but at 20 miles per day I will arrive in Canada near October 1st. I could not wait any longer – fish or cut bait. At mile 12 my leg was sore but I was managing okay but keeping the pace of a slug. Tomorrow I will try to go farther but not faster. Go-slow or go-home!
Saw a southbound hiker today. As I stepped aside I said hello. The hiker looked up like he heard something; he looked right through me and kept walking without any kind of acknowledgement. It was weird and matched exactly how I am feeling. I am here but not really. I am grateful I hiked alone for a few days earlier. It was good practice for actually being alone now. My friends are now approximately 200 miles to the north. I do not know who if anybody is behind me – it’s weird but okay.